I'm Okay...

Every morning

I frame my vision

In the demon- like mirror

Through the sun bathed picture

Of a normal girl

I see me and my skin

Through the stencils of convention

I touch me

And I rub my face

I reassemble my hair

And wash myself

Over and over

Till the softness of fabric

Burns against my skin

Do I look any better?

I don’t know

A dab of smelly substances

That claim to transport me

To larger than life posters

I had smeared heavily

Before a hunger- troubled slumber

Blissfully hoping

It would overcome

All my inlaid insecurities

Overnight

But of course

Magic is cooked up

In cauldrons of imagination

I walk out of the door

Tugging at my clothes

With inherent discomfort

Because this angle

And that fold

Makes my facade

......Acceptable

And yet I don’t spare

A single rear view mirror

Or a glass pane

Or even the darkened windows of cars

To reassure that nagging voice

That bullies me in my head

And every time I walk past

Those pretty boots

On skinny legs

Those sleazy skirts

That audacious dress

I tuck my tummy in

And for those few blissful moments

With reality withdrawn

And my skin pulled tight

I replicate every plastic smile

And answer every hollow greeting

With an empty, evasive

“I’m okay”...

On woman's day

To every woman who has a body image issue...

Soliloquy...

You glisten upon me
Like you hold some secrets...
Entrapped in your cape
That spans across and above.....
Thousands of bits
Of human illumination.....
I know there is more
Beyond the tiresome bindings
Of these vagaries of life......
Yet to look beyond the frames
Of the trained imagination
That we name the "future"....
Is a feat I cant seem to contain
Within my limits....
Perhaps then, your smile
Is all I have.....
To depend on
And know, that somewhere....
You hide someone....
Who will sketch it all out
Before me....
Till then, I content myself
To the confines
Of my random soliloquy....

I desire to call you Life...

Your laughter in my mind,
A soft caress....
Like a conspiracy of the winds,
Leans close....
And whispers
A few unspoken words that beckon,
And tug at the Me
Within me....
Someone I seemed to have lost...
I see her again
In you....
Come closer still
There are crumbs of love stolen
That hide in your sunshine....
Which I wish to take in.....
Your infectious smell
Tempts my soul,
To dive into those unfathomable depths
I feared looking into.....
Love is walking up to me
Slowly, with padded feet....
And I'm already immersed
You drown me, you misted illusion
And I desire to call you Life.....



Thank you ZNMD...Maaz Kazmi...
My inspirations....

Dreamland City

I look beyond the window frame

And the one that binds my mind...

Into a world unearthed

Like the ones fairy tales assure...

No white horses though,

Or princes in armor...

Just the same old sun

In a childlike avatar

Hiding its face

Behind unsuspecting ravines

Enticing me into a story

That many leave untold...

Of the life beneath,

The rubble and the poor

A tale that I wish

Was never ignored....

Man plays his dirty games

Yet this is one land,

He failed to foil....

Where crows too

Have a song of their own...

And the golden grains of life

Are willing to brave the world...

This generous giving of nature

I take in, and as I see

I'd like to call this

My Dreamland city...

[Dedicated to the scenic ravines of 

Madhya Pradesh,which many condemn...

And the random signboard

that rightly said "Dreamland City"]

Consummation....

As the night shamelessly bares
The naked moon...
Blushing in all her virginity
At the promiscuous stars...
I stare into the wall....
Peeling away at its paint
To look at the shade inside,
And see what you are made of....
You take no time,
To feel my insides....
But I want you slow....slower still....
I want you to hush
Your craving whispers....
And listen to that distant music.....
Which grips my chords
And renders me speechless.....
You pause to look at me...
I drench you in my gaze...
You touch my lips with a sigh...
And I place them soft
On your moonlit smile....
While eternity holds her breath
To rejoice our consummation.......

Connoisseur...

A different music

Enchants my threadbare mind

Today, the drops of sunlight

Seem to drench my bones

A life I sought to own...

Is given away

And a last glance

No significance bore....

I torched you with my passion....

The pain in my heart still sore

Fell I at your behest

In the waters of depths untold...

And now I beat around

Endlessly in choppy waves....

While you hide from my silent whispers....

Playing tricks of the deceptive rays.....

Its only those handful of words

Craving an outward release.......

That are faithful to their connoisseur

Relieving me from a listless bait.....

Only theirs is an attempt

To weave a tale 

That heals a wish bound soul......

That tenders an arduous wait.....



The Fallen Star...

Life is ticking away

As I await your summon,

To draw me back in time

When you held me close

To the music of your heart beats....

As for now, I'm stuck

Staring at the clock

Wishing life would levitate

To some celestial form of love....

Where you wouldn't seek reasons

To hide me in your arms......

When I'd seem more to you

Than a cause of forgotten calm.....

Silence takes me back,

To the cruel reality

Of being an untouchable,

In the riches of emotions.....

Where fortune glitters

For those who come with success....

You have turned your back

Evidently, I'm not special.......

And yet, I, the scorned fool

Look at the skies with hope......

Seeking refuge

In their warm expanse.....

When I'm just

 A fallen star.....