The Last Breath....

The failing light

Of an exhausted day....

Illuminates that stairway,

She had taken to

For an unaccountable time.....

And now it is just the dying fire,

That shakes her numb,

Into conscious existence.....

For what that darkened passage

Leads to, is a misted illusion

She fears penetrating.....

That face, which adorned her happiness......

Those eyes, that reflected her love......

Wait for her presence,

In a heavy-lidded trance......

But the weight of obligation,

Suffocates her being.....

As she seals the door

Behind which crouch,

Paroxysms of timeless memories.....

For it is time...

To walk down that unnerving path....

And hold him in her arms.....

Taking in his last desire,

As he breathes into her

His last breath......

Survival....

It takes a broken heart,

To hold together the shards

Of bruises in its confines.....

It takes a defeated spirit,

To stand up and attempt.....

Re- attempt to move on.....

It takes soaked eyes,

To build up the strength

To hold back tears......

It takes an aimless soul,

To wander through the ruins of life....

Looking for that goal,

Which illuminates the path ahead......

What but a haul of nightmares,

Can teach us the value,

Of the "sweet dreams"

Whispered by an unaware friend?

What but a quicksand

Of never ending cycles,

Can describe to you,

The necessity to hold on?

It may seem unforgiving,

That fate should drive you

On the rubble, conscious of the rough...

It may mighty be formidable....

To fathom the depth

At which life, in its whimsical ways,

Will stop playing cruel games at last.....

But what do you find,

When you open up the chaos of memories,

For your world to see?

You find how little

You attempted to give up....

You behold how you never

Assumed you should have stopped.....

You marvel at your identity

Of failing to bar your dreams.....

You count your rubble as blessings,

Your tears, a courage in your eye's gleam.....

For its this flotsam in the ocean,

You kept wishing got wasted away,

That held your sails high......

That kept your failures at bay......

So chance upon your life,

And let it lead your boat.....

Coz you never know,

What makes you survive

And keeps your hope afloat.....

Sleepless....

The drunken stupor

Of bitter sweet memories,

Douses my quest

Of the land of dreams....

I lie, half-awake

As if stopped mid-sentence,

While wiping the smudges

Off the dew soaked screen.....

Self proclaimed desires

Seem to crouch in the shadows,

Of a sub conscious soul....

While the eyes frisk the darkness

For a silhouette of sense.....

Yet the rays of the unseen

Fail to descend......

The heart seeks

A new wanderer,

To find his way

Into the barrens of emotion......

Yet discordant chords

Seemingly play futile notes.....

As numbness gathers comfort,

In the arches of the mind....

While I lie sleepless,

Waiting for my stars

To play a new trick on me this time.....

Writer's Block....

The soul, so numb

With frigid joy,

Has choked on the syrup

Of linkless thoughts.....

It comes to me

In bits and pieces,

How I can be manoevered

By the strings of fate......

The flow of life unhindered,

But the river of emotions at a stand still......

Yet I am standing by the hope

Of survival, through this ordeal.....

This conquest of lyrical magic,

That mends holes

Of my torn reality.....

I wish love triggers

That storming sentiment,

That can summon my desires

Out of the box......

For I am stuck,

In the closed walls

Of the evident present.....

The sudden loss of my verse

Tormenting my imagination......

As my words seek

From their golden cage,

Their flight of freedom.....

That they cherish,

That they deserve.....

Your Eyes....

Your eyes, they sing to me,
The notes you leave unsung.....
The trail of your gaze,
Moves me within
Like soothing silken emotions.....
Sometimes, your mischief
Dances in that twinkle,
Bringing to my lifeless being
The tender drizzle of excitement.....
And as you hold my hand
With that childlike innocence,
My will is played with,
My softness trapped.....
When words fall short.....
And you search them in mine....
My soul reaches out,
To your longing eyes......
Its those tears I can't take,
That tear me apart......
Slipping down your countenance,
But settling in my heart......
There are countless games you play,
With their mystic smile.........
Rendering my love helpless,
Making my motives futile.....
But its in their unsettling depths,
Where your silent alchemy lies.....
And it will only be your eyes,
Where I'll let go of my life.......

By The Candlelight....

The lights are out

With your departure...

Around me,Inside me......

I feel around

In this inky mess,

For a form familiar

And there, my faithful fall-back...

Its amazing you know,

How beautiful it makes

Your hours of memories....

And souvenirs of affection...

With its softness,

Warm and bright......

And by the candlelight,

I admire those silken folds

In my sheets,

Scented by the aroma

Of your sumptuous slumber........

Where you slept

Moments ago, I lie......

Lost in the tenderness

Of your dream filled eyes......

And oh! There's your chain,

Lingering just out of sight......

Like the mole on your back,

Keeping your secrets.....

Hiding in mischief,

Just where I'll tend to seek it......

And by the candlelight,

I recall your touch,

And your skeptic grasp

On my sturdy shoulder......

For a reassurance unknown.....

The way your breathy voice

Whispered content in my ears,

As I led  you to the utopia

Of your locked up fantasies......

There is my story teller.....

The reflection of me,

But not as I used to be....

The longing that died,

In those stone cold eyes,

Is now revived

By your mere sight......

Emotions are bedazzled....

Happiness long gone.....

But a hope is still alive,

As I describe the new "I".....

And by the candlelight,

I can't help but chuckle

At this helpless soul,

Drunken with love,

Gripped by desire,

Lost in the fancies

Of you in his tomorrow......

Where the alchemy of your smile,

Will kill him once again......

As you will have

A desperate life

Dedicated at your feet.....

That last glance you gave,

That took me with you,

Is etched on the surface

Of my half conscious mind.....

As I refuse to let go

Of the time rushing by.....

Sunk in the passion,

Of reversing the tide.......

And by the candlelight,

I wait and I dream.....

Of the bits of your charm

You sprinkled over me.......

Of those unaccounted moments,

I spent in your eyes.....

Where my essence of living resides.....

Where the completion of life lies....

Obsession...

You laugh 

With the hint of blossoms,

Brushing your face.....

While I stare,

My red heart,

Brazen with rawish lust......

A grace of your fingers

Stimulates my urge,

To encase your fragility,

Within the walls of my body.......

Forever, yes, and never,

Never ever let go......

When you but hold my hand.....

Restrict your thoughts,

To the horizon of my world.....

Make me your dawn........

Glow with me at dusk......

Let the breeze not touch you,

Before it gushes

Into my innermost senses.....

Let the sands not beguile you,

To set foot before my behest.....

Let the giggling waters,

Wash down my thirst

Before they creep,

Beneath your virgin skin......

The drops of sunlight,

Will enrich my being,

Before they slide down

Your naked shoulders....

Your life, my love,

Is like that of the butterfly.....

Trapped in the cocoons of time....

And I,the connoisseur

Of your silken emotions,

Desire of commemorating

Your palatial existence......

Your maddening scent

Intoxicates my breath......

All of which,I dedicate to thee.......

So poisoned are my sentiments

With your lascivious beauty,

That my eyes refuse to see

Beyond the limits

Your presence draws......

And yet, I sit in silence......

Tormented by your audacious freedom.....

While my fantasies of you,

Are serenely spent,

Dripping with my obsession.....

Wishes In Whispers......

When the Sun lets out
Its last warm breaths,
And brings to an end,
Its daytime reign......
I feel around me,
The wreath of your arms......
As we smile at the day......
Walking down the last lane........

As the night dances in,
The stage with its far off shimmers.....
The moon sprinkles
Her silent chuckles.......
As I float around,
With my arms spread wide......
Listening to the breeze
That brings me your secrets......

When they immerse,
In their dreamless slumber........
I wait for the playful shadows.......
Of the moonbeams, giggling at me.......
As I take resort,
In the quiet passions,
Of molding your silhouette
From bits of darkness........

And for one last time,
I graze the sheets beside me......
With my hopeful hands,
Waiting for your touch........
Praying for divinity to take over.......
For I know not why,
But my soul believes,
That I'll have you there someday.....

And when the herald of the morning,
Washes away my wishful sleep,
Your luring smile dawns on me.......
Ushering me into another infinity......
Where it is only love I see,
And await.....
Like a devout, for God......
For I know not why,
My little heart speaks,
Of emotions I leave unsaid.....
Of wishes spoken in whispers............

Burnt Memories.....

I watch from a distance,

As the pictures decay......

The colours melt......

And mix with the flames.........

With them I lose,

My shrivelled happiness........

With them I erase,

The shimmering dreams........

The smoke, it brings to me,

Mon monde en blanc et noir........

The acrid smell,

Tingles my senses,

The hazy mirror levitating in air,

Yet playing the lewd leviathan......

Rubbing into my eyes sore........

Red streaks on white,

Redolent of my lost serenity.......

I dither about my power to let go........

Pieces of my mind,

Eaten by the inferno........

Words spoken and cherished,

Swallowed by the yellow tongues........

But the destined is done.........

The stars are amused and content,

As I wash my hands one last time,

With the remnants of my once loved soul,

With the ashes of my burnt memories.......

Pendant Ma Chère Vie......

As gentle as a summer cloud,

You float about me.....

With pleasure in your arms,

You lace me with happiness.....

Making my steps light,

Brightness on my face,

Like the gleeful sunrays......

As I laugh with you,

Spreading radiance around.......

Heavy you make,

My heart, sometimes.......

When the light gets too harsh.....

Scorching me,burning emotions......

With teary eyes,

I take your trial, but

You remain the silent culprit.......

Leaving me abandoned,

Like a child without a mother......

And my direction is lost.......

As I reach out and search

For you, in the deafening darkness......

Delicate you make me,

A soul of wax.......

Cast in numerous moulds......

A few moments gone,

And I, a heap of shattered glass......

Sometimes instead,

I'm the pink, yellow, orange

Of the kaleidoscope.....

You play games, a little sordid

Some, I win......

Some, negotiated.....

Some, left unplayed.......

I choose my cards,

Take chances, not knowing

What is hidden,

Behind your sly smiles.....

Those days, when you show,

More dreams than I can see,

I feel lost, quiet......

Pondering over the lessons......

You teach me, hard or happy.........

I think about you then......

And you mock me,

As I foolishly assume,

That I have the reins,

Of your wheels.....

It never was so,

It shall never be......

O life, O dear friend,

You are and always will be,

My most knowing teacher......

My most cherished love......

Your hand in mine,

Whether in good times or bad,

Makes me complete, human......

No matter how many days of laughter,

Or how many days I cry.....

What's most important,

Is having the whole of you, my life!

An Ode To My Love......

Let the sun of your soul,

Shine on me bright.....

Let the touch of your fingers,

Blind me of all sight.....

Your eyes, they speak to me....

In volumes unsaid.....

The promises you keep,

Spin my life's thread......

The depth I seek,

In the ocean of your thoughts......

Sweep me off the conscious.......

Satisfy what I sought......

The flowers full of smiles,

That you lay on my lap......

Remind me of the blooms,

We ran through, that first spring.....

Like the butterflies you flew.....

Around me, within me.....

Splashing a myriad of colours around......

Painting me red,

Like the rose of your passion.....

I seek you in the morning dew,

For you are my freshness........

I find you in the newborn leaves,

For you are the tenderness,

Of my breath.......

The calm of your voice,

Like a wash of petals on my face......

You hide behind your shy dreams......

My softest desires you chase......

Let me drink to my heart's content,

From the fountain of your love........

Let me sing the sweetest notes,

From the unheard melodies you play..........

Let me into your cove of emotion........

Unravel the mysteries you hide.......

Let me walk you 

Through the overwhelmed forest.........

In this silent, moonless night.......

Let our souls be bound,

By the fragile strings of faith........

Let the breeze bring us close.......

For in your arms I'll lay.......

Let us build our world....

With love we will make it divine.....

'Cause I will belong to you forever......

And you will always be mine........

For you Superman..... :)

Titli....

There sits the little child,

Imaginative, wide eyed......

Proudly telling her friend,

"You wait and watch Rani,

Its just the best in class now....

There will be a day

When I'll fly high,

And dance in the skies......

My voice will do wonders,

And stupefy those people.....

My feet will sprinkle magic,

And they will make me the best!

Such dreams weaves she,

A doe-eyed girl of nine,

So aptly named Titli......

With wings of fantasies

Taking her so high,

That the blazing reality,

Does not graze her little mind....

And smack! Lands a slap

On her rosy cheek

"Don't you have any shame girl?

Talking of obscenities like that?

You need to marry,

And build your life

And not dream of dances divine!

Tears of horror fill Titli's eyes,

As she hears the sentence for life.....

"No Ma! Its not bad!

It is my deepest desire,

My passion! My life!

But the prejudices of convention,

Closed the doors of the mother's heart.....

As she walks away disgusted,

Leaving the child to cry.......

Days come and go,

As nature showers beauty,

Of body, mind and soul

On Titli, the bright faced angel of eleven,

With the power of dancing,

That stuns people around...

And the gift of a voice,

That makes them oblivious,

To any other sound....

As she binds tales of melancholy,

In her soft notes of purity,

Father comes in thundering

"You unfortunate wretch!

How dare you whine so loud??

People are talking and wondering,

Of what are you so proud?

Get ready in a day!

Thanks to the Devi,

Your groom is on his way."

Titli sat aghast.....

Was this song her last?

Not a word came out in shock,

As her mother dressed her in red........

Too terrified was little Titli,

To find out where her fate led....

The next morning he was there,

A haggard of thirty-forty...

A golden tooth shining among the brown,

And eyes red with toddy.....

"Where is my queen?" he demanded

As he threw a wad of money,

There came Titli, shivering, astounded

"No rituals will be done now,

I'm in a hurry," said he

And grabbed Titli, by her wrist

Taking her away from her family.....

A cry of helplessness echoed that day,

And so Titli was never heard of again......

Today she sits in that corner,

At the end of forbidden streets...

Painted with artificiality,

That covers her soulless face.....

No purpose has she left,

She cackles when called a "disgrace".....

Did destiny need to be so harsh?

She pondered day and night........

What sin had she committed?

That brought her to this plight?

And then there was a day,

In the dungeons of her life....

When she became a mother,

And gave birth to a girl child......

That day swore Titli,

That her doll would not be her.....

This new Titli was born to fulfil,

The broken dreams of her mother....

And there she allows her child to fly,

Never look back, just soar high.....

Ringing the bells of happiness in her ears........

Rekindling the hope of living in her eyes......